I sometimes ask myself why I like my job. It has it good and bad points. The tangible benefits are a decent salary, flexibility and autonomy, and being paid to help less fortunate individuals makes it ideal. Then again, the environments can be downright scary and sometimes unsafe and sometimes disgusting.

Like I said, I have a keen interest in witnessing other cultures no matter what it entails. Also, I feel quite rich and spoiled after so many visits. I do not like feeling spoiled but I do like the realization of my luck and life's charm and karma.

The "locals" of the different neighborhoods are extremely interesting to me.

I find a great deal of my elderly patients to have more dignity and self respect than most young kids of today. So much of the focus of the world is on never ending superficial beauty and materialism. My 95 year old patient can nurture a window garden that truly loves her back.

Being at the shore this weekend plunks me directly in the midst of money prison and a vacationing atmosphere that is sometimes scary. My little crumbling house keeps me grounded and safe; shielded from the "Keeping up with the Jones". I have several neighbors like me so we all get comfy and cozy and try to marvel at but not get swept up in the bigger and the better that is really only bigger. I can never seem to find the better in any of it except for a bigger laundry area and several spacious porches where my short legs could contemplate a stretch. I almost have a deeper understanding of the people that chose a street vent and a blanket than the fixed noses, breast implants, 500.00 bathing suits, and 20.00 martinis. Don't get me wrong, I love to zip around in my new convertible and eat at the newest restaurants on occasion and feel part of the party but sometimes I feel overwhelmed and sad about the state of our minds and souls.

Then I come home to my patients who cannot see the need for paper towels, tissues or paper napkins. Some homes scrape together pennies only for toilet tissue as a need and a want in the paper products department.

The gap is so wide my head spins. I can tread water in both worlds. I can feel grounded and safe and loved in my own. I examine my kids and watch them interact and hope they too see the wants and needs as I do or close to it. The persuit of perfection is demoralizing and can break a child's spirit.

Fun. Exercise. Good Food. Love. Deep roots that tangle together and support others as well as ourselves. Those are the things that
matter. That can be had by anyone, rich or poor or in between.

My garden in the city wilted and part of it died the two days I was away. The flowers with the deepest soil were able to live and flourish. Funny how things, lessons, repeat themselves at different tiers of life.

Paper towels and 6500 Square feet homes are optional. Deep roots in fortified, solid, basic, comfortable shelter and lots of love and fun are just as essential as toilet tissue.

One of my favorite things at the shore is the gas station around the corner from my house. A local man owns it. Local kids work there. In the middle of the cars and the bikes and the summer-only kids, there are the two guys that sit on the folding chairs outside waiting for the next customer. A guitar in one's hand and a harmonica, sometimes, in another's. They play and most people don't even notice. I notice. I see how that balances the high end clothing stores and 4.00 ice creams. I say a little prayer when I cross their path that they don't sell to a builder who will marble and granite and beautify that corner.

Sometimes what a town, as well as the world, needs is inner beauty, soul soothing music, roots and locals.

Listening to this book on tape about Muslims and their religion and cultural beliefs has me thinking. Also, the differences in the small tribes or country people compared to the educated, city dwellers of the same religious or cultural background. Superstitions. Brainwashing. Rituals.

I wonder how I, and what I, do to my kids that may be sheer nonsense to a non-Catholic or non-Italian? I wonder if any of my learned beliefs are HARMFUL to my children or to the outside world. I realize that the religion I follow has a powerful political and worldly pull that I support; consciously or not. I may not be in an active rally but I am a contributing nugget of financial and quantitative support. I wonder if I know just what it is that I contribute to and if it matters so much. I am like an aunt (the insect) in an aunt farm carrying the crumbs with others to build a product bigger than I can imagine. Is that good or bad? Is that right or wrong?

So, then, how can I feel comfortable judging another's religion or cultural ritual? Why do I? Why do we all try to cling to a belief or a celebration of something away from our regular daily life. It calms us, defines us, protects us, and controls us. We all need a reason and a why for our existence, for the life that was given to us.

Then there are those of us who refuse to believe in anything.
Atheists, Agnostics. I find this a bit empty.

What about those filled with the devil himself? Who are those devil ghosts?

I remember one day bashing Osma Bin Laden, whom I hate with a vengeance. His arrogance and snickering face make me want to scream and pull at his beard and hair dress. My son, who is smart but not really overly interested in anything of a political or religious nature, said to me: "HOW can you blame them (his followers) for just believing in what they were taught to believe is good. They are doing evil but it is what they are brought up to do and believe, and, no matter how ridiculous, it really isn't their fault."

I could really cry because I know how right he is, I know how true! But, that is what is so scary. THAT aunt farm has those little worker aunts carrying death sentences for others in the name of God or Allah. I could cry further knowing my son may have an inkling about what he really said, what it really means deep down and how it affects the world, his world.

What makes me churn and regurgitate my liver juices is that I think he (Bin Laden) knows better. I think he likes it (evilness)and does not believe what he tells others to believe; at least not in the way he circumvents his beliefs.

I do feel when we are doing something we were taught without thinking we go through the motions and the words and even the songs and the prayers but when we stop and think about it there is a feeling in our pit that we know what is bull and what isn't; we know we get something good out of our traditions and beliefs, we know when it is foolishness. If we think and allow our souls to jiggle at the realization of true Love and Grace, we'll know when it is good and real.

It is an impossibility for all of us world dwellers to be able to accept all other's astonishing life styles. We can only feel comfortable in our own astonishments. Therefore, we perpetuate what we know and what we were taught and do what we've come to believe.

I always remember reading and now believing WHATEVER brings us to GOD will be allowed to exist by HIM. How astonishing is that? Because that could cover all of the rituals of the whole entire world and beyond. Maybe not so those bad acts are encouraged but how it all affects the millions of onlookers? How it changes their faith? Maybe, though, those terrorists and anyone involved in similar harmful rituals in God's name can be somehow brought to God in another way. Maybe.

Our hearts Must hold the hands of our souls or we'll all be lost forever.

I am not superstitous and I usually do not put too much emphasis on these things but this is so true I thought I'd pass it on to see how many people agree.

I am born in JULY.

JANUARY BABY

Pretty/Handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored.
Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to
recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-Earth.
Stubborn. Repost this in 5 mins and you will meet
someone new in 8 days that will perfectly balance
your personality.

FEBRUARY BABY
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever. Changing personality.
Attractive. sexiest out of everyone.
Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest
and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves
freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves
aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but does not show it.
Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends
but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the
inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.
Repost this in 5 mins and you will talk to someone
new and realize that you are a perfect match.

MARCH BABY
ttractive personality. sexy. Affectionate Shy and
reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous
and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity.
Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered.
Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness.
Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up
feelings. Observant and assesses others.If you
repost this in the next 5 mins, you will meet your
new love in 8 days.

APRIL BABY
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous.
Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and
sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does
work well with others. Very confident. Sensitive.
Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good
memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look
for information. Able to cheer evryone up and/or
make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and
others. Understanding. Fun to be around.
Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive.
Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and
traveling. Systematic. hott but has brains. If you
repost this in 5 mins, a cutie that's caught your eye
will introduce themself and you will realize that
you are very much alike in the next 2 days.

MAY BABY
born and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and
highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation. Shy towards oppisite sex.
Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to
dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good
imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves
literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike
being at home. Restless. Not having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited. If you repost this in the
next 5 minutes, you will become close to someone
you do not speak to much in the next 4 days.

JUNE BABY
You've got the best personality and are an
absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make
new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt
and more than likely have an a very attractive
partner. a wicked hottie. It is also more than likely
that you have a massive record collection. You
have a great choice in films, and may one day
become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck,
you've got the looks for it!!! IN the next 6 days you
will meet someone that may possibly become
oneof your closest friends, if you repost this in 5
minutes.

JULY BABY
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to
be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily
consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's
feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody
and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at
times.
Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets.
dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive
and forms impressions carefully. Caring and
loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of
sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people
through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties
in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods
about the past and the old friends. Waits for
friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive
unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt
but takes long to recover. Repost this in the next 5
mins and your reputation will boost someway in
the next 12 days

AUGUST BABY
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on
attention. no self control. kind hearted. self
confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful.
easy to get along with and talk to. has an "every
thing's peachy" attitude. likes talking and singing.
loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates
not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be
loved. hates studying. in need of "that someone".
longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or
restricted. lives by "no pain no gain" caring.
always a suspect. playful. mysterious. "charming"
or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious.
independent. strong willed. a fighter. repost in 5
mins and you will meet the love of your life
sometime next month.

SEPTEMBER BABY
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends
to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and
caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have
many friends. Enjoys to make love. Emotional.
Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates
oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore.
Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can
understand. if you do not repost this in the next 5
mins, someone very close to you will become mad
at you in the next 8 days.

OCTOBER BABY
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves
to takes things at the center. Inner and physical
beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry
often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and
fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but
recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does
not care to control emotions. Unpredictable.
Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND
sexiest of them all. repost this in 5 mins .

NOVEMBER BABY
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and
dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun.
Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards
your inner and outer beauty and independent
personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional
and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people
easily and very social in a group. Fearless and
independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a
crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the
greatest men are born in this month. If you ever
begin a relationship with someone from this month,
hold on to them because their one of a kind. repost
in 5 mins & you will excell in a major event coming
up sometime this month.

DECEMBER BABY
Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive
in everything. Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in
organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to,
though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision,
yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by
kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of
ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to
delay. Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to
joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone
always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer.
Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding.
Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of
person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting
colds. loves music. Loves to
dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows
emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt.
Sensitive. [A hott new guy/girl will catch your eye
& you will catch theirs too in the next 6 days, if
you repost in 5min]

Great movie.

The girl from desperate housewives is in it and plays a part she should have one an academy award for..maybe she did????

Camilla and Camille are two of my favorite names. If I ever write a book I would christen a character with it...anyway..I looked at this book because of the author's name. Then, I read a book review about it...the review was positive but not thrilling. Then I read a couple sentences from the book and knew I must read the complete writing of this author.
I am stacked high as the sky with books that I want to read so I got this one on CD and listened to it to and from the shore. I love books about other cultures and religions. Social Studies was my favorite subject in school next to English Class. I am only on the second CD but LOVE this book. I really didn't want to stop listening. I am taken directly to the places in this book and can feel and smell and touch everything described.

Keep you posted but so far I highly recommend it.

The only bad thing about it is my realization that I will probably never be a brilliant published author. That is sad. It won't stop me from trying, though! It is the way I feel when I read Margaret Atwood, Virginia Wolf, Michael Cunningham, A Dubus, Willy Lamb, and many others.