Gabrielle
French movie with English subtitles: excellent
story is not far reaching but the actors, the direction and the way the movie is filmed is great. I loved it.

Mrs Harris
THis movie is about the woman who killed her famous lover: the doctor from The Scarsdale Diet...Dr Herman Tarnower. Anyway..it was an accident. Ben Kingsley is great in it and Annette Bening was terrific..she is one of my favorites.

My friend Diane gave me a little plate for my birthday that says "Too much of a good thing is wonderful"! How nice! How true!

We laugh and share shopping frenzies. We get caught up in the shoes and bracelets and cakes and chocolate.

I am grateful for my too much's...my family, my marriage, my kids, my health, my friends, my pasta dinners, and yes, even my material belongings.

To many, I have too much. To others, not so much. To me, a wonderful amount.

I do feel, on the other hand, appreciative of things I have little of. Those things are the things I cherish, and engrave in my heart.
Those are the things that can never be captured and kept and grown. They are fleeting like angels amidst us. They are here for us, but, not to possess, for then they will become objects that we will want more of, and then feel wonderful about, and then, perhaps, taken for granted.

It is hard for all of us not to take for granted the good things we have accumulated. I mean love and I mean shoes. "Too many" sometimes decreases the significance. How many chocolates can one devour in a day? Please don't let me answer that question.

I am at a stage in life where I feel the need to rid my self, my house, my head and my heart of the things that are cluttering my psyche. It helps with making decisions and finding a nice blouse to match my favorite black pants. I do remember reading a quote that said something like: We spend the first half of our lives adding to it or buying or collecting and the second half giving things away. I find that an accurate statement. My young self always wanted, always needed, always had to have, always needed to reach that goal, feel that accomplishment. I have certainly not done enough. I have certainly not been too good or too much or too thorough in any way. I just have a need to give now. The need to enrich and enliven. I feel the wisdom of most of life instead of the glitter. I like the calm and content feeling of not wanting so much stuff. Sometimes getting my haircut gives me a feeling of relief.

Diane is younger than me and has much nicer hair. Lucky her. I am here to say that this feeling is better and not to be afraid. lol

I recently came across a paper with my grandfather's handwriting. What is it about handwriting that stirs feelings and memories? I was automatically transported to his living room. I smelled it. I felt the coolness of a shaded room by aluminum blinds knowing the heat was lurking past the awning protected step. I do not remember him writing much but seeing the handwriting had me feeling his damp worn white undershirt, his balding head, his round belly, his lovely hands, his hug, his touch. My grandmother was a different woman to me then; sort of secondary. He was there for me. She was there for him. I was there for him. She was stern then. Handwriting is like a fingerprint, a smile, a way a person tilts their head, a walk; it is personal and individual.

It is something I have, that I have very little of, that I cherish. Too many papers with handwriting would have me happy. This one paper evoked a place, a time and a feeling. I had a sense of surprise that sent me reeling and wondering and remembering and feeling special.

I have a few cards from my mother in law. She was not one for outward displays of affection. Her cards are simply signed, "Marie" or "Mom"...no love, no love you with all my heart, no 20 x's and o's all over the place. The handwriting and the simple word is so much her. Her signature had a shakiness to it. It brings her right before my eyes. I see her with a coffee cup in her kitchen chair looking at me and my husband with what I hope was happiness.

All this internet writing and e mail is great, it is exercise I enjoy. It is communication in a way that fills empty kitchen chairs and living rooms. In some ways, it physiologically replaces coffee.

It will never replace someone's handwriting, or emotions or love betrayed.

If you have a special card, note, address book, recipe book or love letter, Cherish it. Few of those are wonderful.

"One of the most difficult things for a man to do is to realise that he does not stand at the center of things, but at the circumference".

from a Writer's Notebook

Hot flashes are not only HOT, they make you feel claustrophobic, irritable and even depressed. They cause sleepless nights, anxiety and the inability to think clearly. They make your hair flat and your clothes damp constantly. You always feel sticky.

Most of this summer my hot flashes have been emergent.

After taking Menopause support vitamins that worked for a while but then suddenly stopped, I was at my wits end. I felt mad. I was looking up asylums. I didn't care about anything. Cyanide was contemplated.

Then, I called my doctor. Estrogen patches are no longer being used. He put me on the birth control pill (for hormone therapy) (that takes about 10 days to start to show some effect)and he gave me a medication used for menopause and migrane headaches called Eferbel-S (generic for Bellergal-S)..it is prescribed 2 x a day, as needed. I have been taking it at night before bed since it makes me tired. So far I took it two nights in a row then skipped two nights then took it last night.

Most of the hot flashes have gone..I still feel periods of being hot but with much, much less intensity and less sweat breakouts during the day and night.

I am finally feeling better, more like myself.

I am able to BLOG again!

A sister can be a mate, even a roommate.

This summer I have moved into my house at the shore so my kids can maintain a sea shore summer and maintain full time jobs. Me and my husband go back and forth to work and try to make it all seem easy.

My sister has been here for most of the summer with my niece. They come and go too..my sister working part time and my niece spends time at her dad's, her dad's girlfriend's mom's shore house, her grandparent's (one at a shore and the other in South Jersey) and even a few minutes a month at her home in South Philly. This summer she spent a week on a houseboat and woke up to fish and crab and sway in the bay's waters. She also learned to surf. She keeps up with her four boy cousins in every way: eating, playing football, biking, surfing, swimming, and even wrestling. She will not be lured with make up tricks (not that I know any) or jewelry trinkets.

My sister is one of the easiest going persons in the world. Nothing has to be perfect or just so, nothing has to be made to her specifications. She and her daughter find fun in everything. They are true free spirits. My niece is the most adaptable child I know. She appreciates everything she gets whether it is a toy or a new bathing suit or an ice cream cone. She didn't fret when my dog chewed her favorite hat or when the other kids got ice cream without her. She thinks all of the houses she stays in are fun and special. She doesn't mope or whine. She'll wear the same clothes for three days and leave her long wheat blonde hair wet and uncombed if we do not bring it to her attention.

My youngest son and my niece are close in age. Now, they are like sister and brother. They annoy each other and love each other at the same time. My son's take charge personality has been challenged a bit and, in a good way, he has learned to be more flexible.

I have learned a lot too: There really is no need to shake when the house is a bit messy or the sheets are a tad sandy. There is nothing wrong with having soup for breakfast. Beach bags do not have to be emptied and cleaned every day. You can read a book while your beach chair is right in the middle of the ocean's surf, water splashing all about you. 40, or 45 in my case, is not old, it is fun. Bikinis are appropriate for some middle aged women; sometimes looking better than the teenagers. You should not be afraid of exercising like a maniac. Coupons, comps, invitations and all you can eat fests are treasures not annoyances. It is possible to survive with $20.00 in your pocket. Teenagers are fun and exciting. Libraries are places with much more resources than books. Blue is a fun nail polish color. You can wear the same earrings all summer long without ever taking them out or changing them.

All in all, I have found that relaxing and not taking everything so seriously is a great big release. I have understood further that fun and dignity can be maintained with any income. Friends and family are our private sources of life's treasures.

Sister's and nieces are like discovering GOLD.