The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice

Today I was doing my walk when a man jumped out of a truck and started to take pictures of something under a tree with his phone. I couldn't see what it was at first but then as I approached I realized it was a turkey or something. I am not too fond of birds. Since I do not like birds, I am kind of afraid of them. This made me start thinking about other things I do not like in LIFE and maybe I am also afraid of those things, too.
Anyways (my new favorite made up word) as I approached I realized it was a blond colored EAGLE with a half dead squirrel in its mouth seemingly posing for this man with the camera phone. I stiffened as I briskly walked by while saying "OHHHHHH, WHAT is that?"
"That, my friend, is one awesome EAGLE". Just at that moment I heard the bull horn from the field where the EAGLES football team practice. I walked faster trying not to think about symbolism or messages or reasons for my fear.

I heard something behind me and as I turned it was another man on a bike who happened to realize that an eagle was under that tree just waiting for everyone to get out of it's way. "WOW!" he said.

"Did you see it"? I said.

"yeah!!!" he said.

"Where did it go? Did it fly away?" I said.

He replied, "It certainly did".

I looked toward the sky and then all around. It was no where to be found. Gone. Vanished. Fast.

I was telling my son about it. He said the same Eagle was up at school they saw it in the sky and it swooped down to capture a squirell...the same bird it seems. He said tons of kids were crowded around it amazed.

The fears that overwhelm me can be gone in an instant. Off to scare someone else.

As I look and search I realize they are no where to be found.

"Do not wait for leaders. Do it alone, person to person".

What a strange word! So to the point. After life.

I am intrigued by anything indicating a glimpse of the afterlife.
The other night I watched a TV show produced by Merv Griffin ..it is a reality show that follows Lisa Williams around while she acts as a medium and contacts dead relatives of still alive men and women. It is a very convincing show that clearly states nothing has been enhanced or fabricated or done for the show. I am hooked. Ms. Williams has an accent like she is from England, she has spiky hair colored blonde and pinkish red. She is eccentric looking but seems like a deeply good person. I do not consider myself intuitive to the point where I can see things beyond the concrete and I am naive and even dense at times but sometimes I get the feeling about someone, about their goodness and I usually am right on target.

I have never seen a ghost or received messages from the after life. However, I do feel that I have a guardian angel. I just feel it. I know someone, somewhere protects me. That is not to say I am not careful or protective of myself or my family, I just feel someONE steps in now and then and intervenes. I also talk to my dead relatives all the time. I see them in my mind's eye and we talk. I ask them questions and wonder what they think. I feel like they are all O.K.; happy even.

I have seen patients while dying suddenly open their eyes to see only something they can see. I've seen them talk to persons who had passed away before them. I have seen a clenched, suffering person suddenly relax and arrive at a place of peace. I have seen people die with smiles on their faces. Death, if not tragic and if the person is not in much pain can be a beautiful stage of before the after life. When someone is accepting and open to dying it can become a journey and a reconciliation of their lived life.

The show went on to film two sisters who wanted to speak to their mother. Apparently the mother took pills to take her own life. They were trying to find out if it was intentional, etc.... They got their answers. It was..sometimes we just don't want to believe the obvious. Another girl wanted to speak to her husband who died as a US Marine after being married only a short time. She was having a hard time moving on and he gave her the O.K. Of course, I was crying and blowing my nose trying to be quiet since my husband was sleeping next to me.

Sometimes I have dreams that feel like something more than a dream. I do not remember many dreams but some I never forget. They are the ones that feel like a message. I have no idea if they are messages, they just feel like it.

We all have had happenings where a little bell goes off and we know it just can't all be a coincidence.

I wondered what I would ask if I was with Lisa Williams. Of course there are a number of relatives I would want to speak to but I think you can only speak to one at a time. I thought of a ghost family dinner where we are all together but then I thought Ms. Williams would get too exhausted. My family can get loud. She talks to them just like you do to an imaginary friend..like they are sitting right next to her.

My questions, to my grandfather, would be related to the after life, after, of course, asking if he is OK, happy, content. I would ask if he misses us and what exactly does he miss. I'd ask if he was proud of me, and satisfied with the way I live my life and my choices and if he liked my kids. I'd want to know if he met God, does he see my grandmother? Are they married in heaven? Are they really in heaven? Do they see everything we do? Do they help us? Do they fly? I used to have dreams where I could fly. They were great dreams. Are we living the right way? Should we do more for others? Can I live out my dreams? Do these dreams really matter? Why do they matter?

Maybe I would just ask her to channel Jesus..since I am sure he knows everyone anyway and he can answer all my questions.
The thought of actually talking to my grandfather that died when I was 13 is astonishing.

Sometimes an interaction with a stranger or even an animal or a tree or plant feels like it takes on another dimension. Sometimes, a patient just feels like a person I know or knew or even love. Sometimes, I know my son is an angel. A real one. I am so glad GOd gave him (all of them really, but the little one gives me this feeling the most) to me and I pray he keeps him with me for a very, very long time.

I know when I die I will infiltrate dreams, I will protect and help wherever I can. I will fly around with my grandparents, and in laws and others and smile and hopefully they will all smile too now and after life.

Today, my kids had off from school for All Saints Day. I took off too. After chores and cooking breakfast at three different times, my youngest son (he was the only one who would go) and I went out to lunch and then to the Philadelphia Zoo. We both love animals and love the zoo. I am always amazed to be reminded that the Philadelphia Zoo was America's FIRST ZOO. It is really beautiful too, with lush trees and water gardens, exhibits that mimic the forest or real animal habitats. The talking boxes in front of every animal exhibit need just a turn of your plastic zoo key to hear great information about that particular animal. The animals are many and there is a wide variety.

We were there at 4 p.m. which turns out to be the time lots of animals get hungry and either get fed or feed themselves. The giraffe stretched her graceful neck as a long, long, lizard looking tongue loomed out and stripped tree branches of their leaves. It wrapped around the branch like a rope wrapping a steel line and it pulled and tugged and she crunched and licked. Her big wide eyes were dark brown with flecks of amber and seemed to be lined with the perfect black eyeliner. As she blinked she seemed to flirt. Her brown and tan and gold geometric patterned skin looked amazing and perfect.

Didn't Aristotle say "There is miraculous in all of nature" ?

The cats (all sorts) paced up and back and let out a thrilling roar or two as a caretaker held up and seemingly teased them with raw, blood dripping meat. It was taken and swallowed in a half of a gulp.

The bald headed eagles pecked with their large plastic looking beaks in front of them and pulled off very small pieces at a time showing they were too smart and wise to gulp or gorge.

Polar bears looked too tired for dinner trying to keep their eyes open but could not as the sun softly bedazzled them with his heat.

We walked thru quiet, peaceful paths since it was late in the day and most other kids did have school today. The trees stretched to embrace as much nourishment and warmth from these soon to be gone gorgeous sunny afternoons.

We watched a short movie on Lions and Tigers and Jaguars and Cheetahs and marveled at their poise and skill in attacking their dinner in the wild.

We saw ugly, upside down bats with huge caped wings.

The most popular thrill was watching the animals eat and the roars and noises they make. Their pace and climbing and walking and wondering around their pens was fun too. Primal needs and how they are met. I thought they are a lot like people. Nourishment, exercise, seeking the bath of sunlight, play and rest all sound good to me; are good for all of us.

As we left my son said he enjoyed being out in the wild a bit since we live in the city we don't get much time in the jungle. We hopped in the car and marveled at a lit up city with tall buildings and mural painted walls and frat houses and twinkling car lights over the expressway that follows the river and it's current and proudly displays the glowing boat house row houses. A ten minute car ride later we were home enjoying homemade crabs and spaghetti in rich dark tomato sauce slicked with olive oil and bits of garlic. My little dog had a dish too and when she finished she looked up at me and tilted her head and smiled as if to say, "thanks mom".

I thought of Saint Francis who is the patron saint of animals and thanked him for a great day.