Marissa (a relative) has custody of her niece Josie, her brother's daughter. She also has 3 other children. The brother, the child's father, died from a heroin overdose. Josie's mother is a junkie. She lives day to day looking and searching; needing drugs. She doesn't live far from me and there are times when I see her in the neighborhood. I saw her today driving in the car in front of me with her husband or boyfriend. They were talking and laughing. I know this was only 5 minutes in a day with over 1400 minutes. I know Josie is better off with her aunt and her cousins. She seems happy. She is separated from her 1/2 sister and brother, though. She sees them when she has visitation with her mom. The other 2 kids are with their father's father.

Josie has been to the drug dealers homes and corners with her mother Lisa, to buy crack or cocaine or heroin. She knows how her mother's day goes on and on just like an animal who forages for food or mates all day; she seeks out her basic needs. Her children are not included in those needs and their own needs are not a concern. When they (Josie and her sister)were in foster care in an unfamiliar home far from their neighborhood with people who were so unlike them, Lisa was glad they were having fun. They were not having fun. They were pulled out of school in front of class mates and friends and were taken into a strange home for 3 weeks without any contact from any family members (it was not allowed). They were not going to school. They were waiting for someone to rescue them. Josie and her sister hardly went to school when they were living with Lisa. She couldn't get them up and ready for school. There was nothing for lunch, no pencils, absent book bags. There was no dinner waiting for them or clean, well fitting clothes. Absent mom. Absent kids. Absent lives.

Josie is a good and nice kid and I am glad she has a somewhat regular life. I know Lisa can't get herself together. I know this is the best of a bad situation. But when I see Lisa at the grocery store or talking with a neighbor and smiling and laughing (it seems she is always laughing), I just can't help but think the world would have been better off without her.

But who am I to say.

You think these things happen in books and to OTHER people. I know it happens everywhere. Life is very strange. Life's closet is full of those so called skeletons. I just always wonder why?

I just finished my fried ravioli cookies. Piping hot from the oil, I dipped one in sugar and cinged my tongue; but, it was worth it. The crispy thin cookie dough holds hot apple butter mixed with melted chocolate and pieces of roasted walnuts, hints of apricot brandy and black cherry preserves. A complete delicacy.

I actually had 3 fried cookies with a small glass of just made orangecello with ice and now I am ready for dreams. They should be good ones because right now life is just GRAND.

WOW that was good orangecello! I don't even mind that I still have a kitchen to clean.

Meryl Streep is a wonder!

Watch it for the fashions!!!!

My house has the fresh fragrance of Christmas. My little guy tackled the balls and lights and now the tree glows by the front window. I can sit on my sofa under a blanket and just appreciate the flickering lights and tranquil quiet.

My poor kids are working so hard..they work in a restaurant and this is the very busy season. They are working long hours. I am so proud of them. They are hard workers and have become tough and dependable. Even my 13 year old is working 1 or 2 days a week. I like the life experience they are gaining but I miss them at home. Dare I say.

Yesterday I baked some Christmas cookies: filled apple butters, nut balls, chocolate chips, oatmeal, 2 kinds of biscotti. I still have to make the fig stuffed cookies, fried ravioli cookies and butter cookies. Besides wrapping and presents, this week is really all about food. We have a huge fish dinner on Christmas Eve for over 50 people as most other Italian homes do. My husband and I will begin a few days ahead with preparing and marinating and soaking. My mouth waters at the thoughts of bacala salad, spaghetti and clams, fried smelts and huge shrimp cocktail. My mom prepares the stuffed calamari in red sauce eaten with spaghetti. There is also antipasto, potato pancakes, crab cakes and maybe even stone crab if I can get them. My sister will prepare the tedious but delicious stuffed olives so good with a before dinner drink. Cheese cake, tiramisu or trifle along with cookies will be on the desert table along with homemade lemoncello, and camomille grappa.

I am getting excited!!!!

My friend Ralph Rucci will be on the Martha Stewart show on Thursday morning this week...you can get a little glimpse of South Philly genius.

response to Junebug
(I have to comment on this and maybe I will write a blog about it.)

I definitely know my husband and I are soul mates. Even as we have moments of distain for one another. I know in my heart he is the reason my soul is complete. He and I have many similarities and many differences but the differences seem significant in that they provide lessons for life.

There are ways we cannot truly grow free and wild when we are intertwined with another person, for that twining together holds us back. I believe that holding is really for our own good. Marriage is a sacred vow before GOd and if we are conscious in that public statement we should be dedicated to that fact.

I also believe that the rest of our family and friends are soul mates too. THey are factors in our life that allow us to see ourselves more clearly and therefore to understand life somewhat better. Some come and go and that is OK.

I find it pitiful when I hear people talking of their soul mates that really do not sound like soul mates. They have a notion in their heads that is just a notion. It is not real. They have no idea. Why do I feel sorry? Because I know it is holding them back from moving on to what is real.

I know I cannot live without my husband. He is a part of me like my liver or my brain. Without him, I am not complete.

Should a person marry someone they feel is not their soul mate? Well I am going to say she is lucky she knows it from the start and she will work around that...it is fine, they may have a beautiful life together. And if, someday, she realizes a real soul mate, her husband would do them both good if he allows her to explore that relationship...of course, while respecting their life, relationship and marriage.

Soul mates are made for one another.

I am lucky to have found it and know it.
You do know it when you find it. There is no question.

I will put this response on my blog for other's information.