Since I was a young kid I've been referred to as "fresh". It was bratiness when I was really young, the result of being the first and overly treasured grandchild. I grew up with a "fresh" grandmother..well, two of them really, and a couple of "fresh" uncles. I can't really say my aunts were "fresh"...then I was an emotional teenager and an emotional and sensitive new wife and mother, I was a bit naive and trusting of everything for a long time. After 21 years of marriage to the most un-naive (what is the word?)person on earth, I have learned a few lessons. Working and raising kids and listening to my husband's points of view and my father's points of view, well, I've become a bit smarter. I read everything I can, and I ponder and try to figure the world out, something I will ask to be removed from my brain in my next life...it is truly exhausting, habitual and obsessive. My mother is not "fresh" but is a bit of a talker. My parents were kind of blunt in their negative comments..."Oh your hair looks terrible like that!", "What are you doing wearing a skirt so long?" "This soup is lousy". And how about my uncle "your nose looks bigger when it's cold out and it turns red". O.K... hold onto your cowboy hats...I am not going to therapy over it... that is how they are...out with it...and all I can do is feel bad for a minute, laugh and then get "fresh". Also it gives me SOMETHING to cling to.. to write about! HA. So...as time goes on I became a bit of a loud mouth. Now that I am no longer shy about writing, it is freeing to throw up my thoughts and emotions to anyone who will listen. As I age, I am realizing there happens to be a bit of a mess when you let it all out all the time so I feel like I need to edit and nip and tuck at my thoughts and opinions even for the simple reason to age with dignity and grace. There is really no need to constantly nit pick. It's a habit that is harder to break than chocolate. Believe me when I tell you!
I realize we all do it to one extreme or another, we all have important opinions and hardfelt emotions about lots of things. A lot of us think we really need to let people know the things they NEED to know...So why can't we smooth it all out like a hot iron on a cotton hankie and go to bed with a clear head?
Oh, remember those ladies who were allowed to iron all day on Monday? Those lucky B's!
I have mixed emotions about the whole illegal immigrant situation.
I know legal immigrants and real citizens deserve the support, attention and benefits of their own country and they don't want it taken away from them by people who don't have a right to it.
I have learned for the umpteenth time this week that every situation has different points of view and that more than one point of view can feel right at any given time. Statements can be made that are very offensive even if they are somewhat true like the statement posted at Geno's Steaks in South Philadelphia: "This is America When ordering speak English" I think that is a bit offensive to say to paying customers. To me being someone who voices my opinions too loudly at times knocking down feelings like dominoes? I hope this is learned behavior I can unlearn before I am too old to remember.
I learned retail in a store that believed "the customer was always right" and I do not like when businesses do not treat customers nicely (I think that is part of the business).
Isn't graciousness a virtue? I can see different points of view and this causes me distress and regret. I still have my principals, I still think the way I do about certain things, I just don't like being hurtful. Other people feel being hurtful is necessary. The point is living in American we speak English therefore the newcomer should adapt themselves to the new situation not requiring the rest of the country to adapt to them. I only agree with this to a point. Yes, my ancestors had to learn to speak English and I am sure many of them never learned to read or write it. They adapted to better themselves, to "blend in". The people not feeling the need to "blend in" today are thought to be ignorant and obstinant and un-American.
It is hard to approve of illegal immigrants having jobs that they really are not entitled to maintain. I feel it is up to the business owner. Of course, the government doesn't like that because of taxes and money they miss out on and therefore we miss out on. I understand all that...BUT I also see those seemingly same Americans collecting checks for injuries they don't have or getting compensation for work related problems or accepting state benefits that really shouldn't expect. I see Americans do a lot of things they shouldn't do that take away from the rest of the country. That isn't right either.
We all do things wrong. We all try to rationalize our own behavior and then we all talk about what other people do wrong. It's craziness.
My kids work at a restaurant. They work with a lot of Spanish and Mexican guys. I have no idea if these workers are legal or not but the city is full of illegal immigrants working in the restaurants. They ride a bike or walk to work only taking the bus if absolutely necessary...bus fare is 2.00 now. Some nights my kids come home from a 8-10 hour day complaining they only made 10.00 or 20.00 in tips (other nights they do better) and they have a point. I am glad they see the other guys too, the ones working as "chefs" but were never trained as such and get paid like a dishwasher, the actual dishwasher who is as old as their own father and has a job seemingly below the one they have at 15,18 and 19 years old, the ones who have kids to feed and clothe, the ones who bring in their indigenous food to make a familiar lunch for themselves and then share it with my kids. My sons know some of them have kids with different women, live in houses with lots of other people, maybe in small rooms with hot plates, using a bike as their only means of transportation. They see them doing work that other Americans refuse to do..and maybe rightly so, but they see the pride they take in it, they see what it means to them and they see how hurt they are when they are fired, which is often and sudden and without the rights of real citizens or savvy citizens. Just wait until they "make it" and "blend" and find the ways to collect things they don't earn. I know many of those same types of people do that too...I am just trying to point out those many that are good and decent and trying and how it effects others ...sometimes it isn't always bad effects.
We know these people in a different way than a passerby, I know where they come from when they ask for something in broken English or Spanish. Sometimes it is because they've only been here a short while and are just as quickly on their way back.
It may not be right and maybe it shouldn't be encouraged but it doesn't help to ridicule or put them down.
I think being judgemental is a good thing because it helps us figure out what is wrong and what is right. Being too outspoken about it may not be the best way.
Me and other Americans have some things to learn too.
I also learn over and over again we become something like our parents and the people who were around us when we were growing up no matter what we try to do about it, no matter how our inborn character challenges. Lots of times that is a very good thing. I have a lot of good qualities that came from my father (small feet) and my mother (nice skin)...and nicer personality traits...warm and friendly and personal (mom) and quick and full of energy and funny (dad).
Next blog will be all about my brother and sister's issues.
ha!
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