Most of my life I've felt average. Lots of people that know me will deny I feel that way, but it is true. In the grand scheme of things, I do feel in the middle. Some areas tip SLIGHTLY to the left and other areas WEIGH on the right, but, for the most part, my life's pendulum is quite still.

I did, when very young, have those soaring sensations, those dreams where I could fly, that overwhelming feeling of power. Most of the time, for no apparent reason, just because I was young and full of hormones (those chemicals in our bodies that make us feel and do very strange things, sometimes great things). I had many more manic days than depressed ones and yet I always felt average. Later feeling balanced, centered, together. I was always decisive, independent, emotional and happy but any of those things with an added dose of mania can be quite shocking. Now, after climbing life's mountain of age and almost reaching the peak, my Mountain Pose is strong. Nothing really has changed except maybe my perspective; my slanted view. Standing tall and straight with the big toes of both feet touching, my spine holding up the head I always owned and occupied, I can see things clearly and from this very centered, controlled position, all is calm, all is bright; even the things that aren't so right. It gets to be a feeling of belonging. Not belonging to someone or some physical geographical place but belonging to the place where you live inside of yourself. The right place. The right time. Centered. Content.

I marvel, once again, at the basic storytellers. I think about Goldilocks...and how that really hot porridge was really too hot for a young girl and how the cold could not yet be appreciated. It takes practice and living to appreciate balance and to reach your own true wisdom for all the right reasons. Nirvana.

There were times when my porridge was hot..I like hot oatmeal. Really. I like it sweet, too. In order to taste the sweet it has to cool a bit. Should I not reduce Life to porridge? Maybe not..but everything is a parable.

I think of all the other basic fairy tales and how they represent most of the stories in life. Every hit movie is a spin off or a piece of a basic fairy tale. Pretty woman is Cinderella and so is The Godfather. Snow White lives in my neighborhood as does The Old Lady who Lives in the Shoe. Jack in the Beanstalk is every Life Motivational Expert's story. One of the newest is Wicked, which can be looked at as a simple explanation of the Wicked Witch's offspring. Any of us could have made up that story. The genius in it is how it is told, and why, right in the middle, it makes your heart beat fast and your palms sweat and then at the end you soar and try to grasp onto that power and thrill of mania just like trying to catch a firefly...even if you catch it, trying is better than getting. The telling and the thinking and the feeling and the wanting IS the magic. The wisdom is the realization; the feeling of being balanced...the rest is all Life. The rest all matters so much less than we really think.

That is why doing what is GOOD, doing what is Right, and doing what you love matters most, even if it isn't really what you think you want to do. Understand?

All the nice and pretty girls in the Cinderella stories do not always find the slipper fits. Sometimes that hurts. Life hurts. Lessons hurt. But whatever is needed to keep your metronome ticking will happen until your finally put in the place, your center, where you belong. Your slipper is somewhere. Not all slippers are associated with princes, though. When you find it and realize it, you'll look back and laugh at yourself. You'll laugh at all the control you never really had, all the outside factors that motivate your stars to shine and align and lead you to where you'll finally feel at home.

So..back to my average-person-ness.

All that while, feeling the childlike wonder and the immature high hopes of perfection has led to some disappointment, but, while following the yellow brick road, I was taken right back home. I used to subconsciously wish to be more of this or more of that. I liked myself when climbing that mountain. I felt strong and young and brave. I wanted to always go to the highest point I was able, but now I see it isn't how high the point is, it is the point where you feel best for the longest amount of time, where your stamina and your muscles and your lungs and your mind all are calm and centered and relaxed. It is where you do the most good.

I can really say that my middle, average self feels wonderful at not being so vulnerably below average and great to not be so needy to be way above it anymore. My nice "mid firm bed" and "sweet warm porridge" is wonderful. Goldilocks can sleep well even with all the big bears that surround her. She is full and content and comfortable. Those bears, those wild powerful beasts, will be in awe of her sweet simple pleasure and restful sleep. When she awakens, she won't care how big they are or what they think..she'll be filled with fairy dust and smile.

That is where we all want to be..and all that there is ...is where we belong.

Our Life is really our own little fairytale. Find your magic.

I recently heard a report on the city of Kabul.

An Afganistanian, who fled to the U.S. when the Taliban arrived, recently went back. He was complaining that things are bad; hard, expensive. Prices are 10-20% higher than when the Taliban was there, the population has grown exponentially..now there are billions of people there...BUT the city is still crumbling..there are some new roads and power lines, there are phones and there is freedom. Should they invite the terrorists back? There is no Taliban and women can work and walk without holding their breath and even show part of their arms, now! This man, who lived in America (in Virginia) for years and raised a family here is disgusted with things there..he went back to make money and find fortune...but there is much work to be done...he has decided to come back to his comfortable America.

The whole entire interview had me in near shock as I just watched a movie called : Kabul Beauty School and was so struck by the happiness of the women JUST to have freedom to walk the streets without fear, to color and cut their hair and learn and exercise their obvious intelligence. They went to this school, administered by the United States with volunteer teachers with children in toe; they operated in-home salons while having to carry water from one place to another..to wash here and cut there, they coverted one room homes into salons every day and then returned the room back to living quarters every early evening and then cooked large full dinners without complaining but with huge, cheek hurting smiles. They were ecstatic because it was their choice and their job, things never thought to be of their world, again.

AND NOW, this man, that lived in America for years is going to complain that the U.S. must see this unrest, these high prices, this still destroyed city. WHAT!!!!!! How can anyone even surmise they could go into a city that was almost 100% destroyed and riddled with corruption and find in it a pot of gold. Some people are just so unrealistic.(I wonder if he is related to the Muslim's fighting for their very OWN Muslim only bathrooms in an Australian school so they can perform their ablutions without the intrusion and inconvenience of non Muslims. They comprise less than 10% of the school enrollment).

Wouldn't you think it would take time? Isn't it better than being filled with dread and fear every hour of your life?

Only one who lived half a life in America could possibly think a pot of gold READILY awaits him, and, when he cannot find it, thinks it is OK to blame this country, his chosen United States..as if there is no one else at fault....
but...no one else would ever even listen (or send reporters there to interview him)...

can we say
Welcome Back?

We all should be more aware of how powerful the Press is in influencing the way we think and how we judge the world around us. Lots of news is slanted toward the left injecting a liberal overview of politics, world news, even science.

I never thought I'd like to be a journalist because I am not a "mainstream" thinker. I usually challenge most things I'm told. I usually "go" with my gut instinct. When things sound dum to me, they usually turn out to be so...

A couple of issues came up the past couple of days..one being second hand smoke. I think there is an over zealous attitude in the press about the hazards of second hand smoke. Surely smoking is the biggest issue. Isn't there many problems and issues to focus on? Do we need to make mountains out of mohills (I dont think that is a real word) for Copy?

Then, there is the power of the press to actually manipulate the public's liking or not of a public figure. World leaders and countries have been manipulated by news to sway one way or another purposely. I don't know about you, but I don't like being manipulated...especially not on purpose.

Then, there are the pieces of news that are questioned. Is this being written to bring publicity to someone? Is this being printed for other reasons than what is being said? Or is it just what it is saying??? I found the public accusation and request for a public apology by Veronica Berlusconi to her husband, the past (?) Prime Minister of Italy, for complimenting and flirting with other women in public in his most hated public newspaper La Rupubblici (?SP). At 50 years of age and after 27 years of marriage she is all of a sudden shocked to see and hear her husband flirt with other women? Sounds fishy to me...but, his apology was outstanding:

After vigorously praising his wife, he said:

"Excuse me, I beg you"!....written, in response, in his favorite public newspaper.

I'd vote for him. NAAAAAAAAA!

You all know I cook at home all the time. I do this mostly because I love to eat good food, love to cook and have 4 kids to feed.

Cooking at home is more economical.
Groceries are the one area where you have lots of room to save money.

Forget snack foods, forget highly processed foods like boxed, bagged or canned products (exception for me is canned puree tomatoes and beans which I rinse before using most of the time) forget processed cookies, and cakes, forget most sugary processed cereals. Forget soda and sugary juices. Water and tea are the best beverages to drink. Low fat and skim milk are good for those without allergies. Eggs are good for you! If cholesterol is a problem use 2 egg whites for every 1 egg...

Stock up on fresh or frozen fruit, vegetable, lean meats, chicken, fish, turkey. Limit luncheon meats.

No time to cook? Make soup, gravy and, say, a roast on Sundays...use it for dinners during the week and then from there you have roast beef sandwiches, chicken salad (from soup), risotto or lentil or other bean soup(stock from soup), pasta (gravy/sauce is for pasta), meatball sandwiches, etc...

You'll be HAPPIER because you'll have meals planned for the week, won't be rushed, everyone will have their full and you won't be ordering high fat, low nutritional, high priced "take-out" all week!

Your health and food bill will thank you.

Be prepared

Keep an idea in your head what you are willing to spend for say: A night out, an upcoming weekend, on an event, a year's worth of gum..and then stick to it.

Leave the credit cards and check book home unless you know you WANT to use them for a certain something or are traveling (for emergencies).

Recently, I was not prepared...my son was in a show at school. He needed an Elvis costume. I went, last minute to the costume store and for almost 100.00 bought a PLASTIC (like a heavy trash bag) costume and wig. Now, if I would have planned a bit I probably could have gotten something just as "colorful" on ebay or even made it..and spent a fraction of that money...we will donate that costume ot the school for a future event or if they don't want it..save it for Halloween. eeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhh!

Being prepared means not doing things last minute!!!