movie about a couple in love with each other and heroine. Heath Ledger (Broeback Mountain)(I'll see anything he is in) is terrific and Abbie ? is very good too.

Easter is another holiday for over indulging for me...candy, Easter bread, Ricotta pie, plus the pasta, antipasto, huge dinner, too much wine...

Easter Monday..back to conscious eating..

5+ deadly foods:

donuts: 1 Krispy Kreme: 200 cal, 1/2 those calories in fat, +transfats

deep fried foods: French fries/medium: 380 cal, more than half those calories are fat (20 gms), + trans fats

Mc Nuggets and fast food meals (poor nutritional value) 250 calories more than 15 gm of fat, more than half the calories are fat calories, + trans fats

soda: 10 teaspoons of sugar, , 150
EMPTY calories...this also goes for iced tea mix and canned

mayo: 1 Tb. = 12 grams of fat, 110 calories (most of them fat)

hot dogs: poor nutritional value, 13 gms of fat for small hot dog.FULL of nitrates / transfats

luncheon meals: very high in fat and sodium and nitrates
ramen noodles/soup from a can or mix

They are all way too high in fat, trans fats, saturated fat, and sodium and have very little nutritional value.

Be smart: Eliminate them from your diet

better picks:

whole grain bread, muffin or roll
grilled meats, chicken
yogurt
home made soup: barley, vegetables, skim the fat
Low sodium/organic luncheon meat
water, tea, small amounts of really good juices like pomegrante, blueberry, carrot, OJ, even coffee in moderation is ok
Forget "fast food" entirely

In a rush/don't skip meals: fruit, vegetables

Writing is like swimming in the ocean. It is almost always wonderful, feels organic and refreshing. Sometimes on an especially good day you catch a wave and ride it effortlessly all the way up to shore. And then you do it again. And then, later, when you think about it, you smile and feel truly content.

This weekend was warm..it is cold one day and then warm the next. The warm days feel so hot and then it still feels like winter since the trees are bare. Walking through the park the strength of the sun warms my head in minutes. I look up passed the naked tree branches. It is April 1st, and by June 1st those same trees will be lush with bright green supple leaves; the calming breeze will feel and sound soothing, dreams will be easy.

The damp midnight air turned violent and mean. Thunder cracked and lightening defied the night. Redolent of summer nights, summer thunderstorms, and yet the trees are still bare. In two days it will be cold enough for a coat again. Like a rebellious and disobedient teenager the storm carried on for a couple of hours.

In 46 years I have been through a few thunderstorms. During the summer, my shore house windows are wide open and aggressive breezes are welcome. A surprise heavy rain storm sends us running to close more than 25 windows. After a few storms the thunder becomes cozy and familiar. Seashore thunderstorms are great especially when the morning sun is bright and shiny and the air is still and calm like a child that eats all the cookies and then can do nothing else but smile; a big smile. Sunday, the thunder was startling. The surprise was annoying. I thought of Dorothy and Toto..and the repeat: "Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my"!

As I tried to sleep, I thought of my 100 year old house and it's sturdy plaster walls and terracotta roof tiles. I thought about the four kids snuggled under their blankets sleeping deeply without noticing the shattered light across the darkness, without noticing the trash can blowing about the yard or the rain that sounded like hail or the leak in the ceiling. I was glad for them.

Whenever I get that initial feeling of terror at the first very loud pops and cracks, I think how silly it is to be afraid of a sound. Is it instinctual? My dog hides behind the toilet and will not be consoled by holding or petting. She is terrified until the noise subsides.

I do not remember many thunderstorms besides the ones at the shore and the ones in Pennsauken. My grandmother was terrified of thunder. In a single sturdy home in South Jersey her house was great place to be in a storm. She had an enclosed front porch that we hardly ever used but during a rain storm felt cozy and safe while playing cards or checkers with my cousins and sister and brother. It felt like our own little fort. Looking out the doorway from the kitchen, the view was of the back of the house. The large slate patio with a huge chestnut tree that canopied the whole area, even on very hot sunny days, protected and cooled. Iced tea always helped, too. The garage was at the top of the driveway about 35 feet from the house just at the base of a fenced in yard that kept pear and peach trees, a vegetable garden and a white bird bath. I remember the grass was soft and perfect. I remember the peaches were tiny and hard and warm, and very fuzzy and bittersweet.

Heaven forbid a thunderstorm happened in the middle of the night. My grandmother, all 4'9" of her, would parade about the upstairs, her ample bosom leading the way under a leopard-printed house dress, toes cracking, her voice shrilled screaming to Jesus Christ. She'd pace back and forth and after every clap of thunder, she'd sing a note of terror. A long cigarette dangling from her slim fingers with the pointy red nails. We'd all be in our plush and incredibly comfortable beds, beds made with care and precision, with our faces in our pillows laughing so hard our stomachs would hurt. She'd scream louder if she heard us laughing.

Now I see her up in heaven, whenever they put that thunder machine on, with a camouflaged suit and a long pointed rifle, marching up and back daring those tigers and bears to show their dirty faces.

Whatever you vividly imagine, ardently desire, sincerely believe and enthusiastically act upon must inevitably come to pass