There is no better measure of a person than what he does when he is absolutely free to choose."

Today

I went back to the city to do some errands and didn't get back until after dinner. It was hot and humid. 97 degrees with 80 % humidity...at 5 pm. Tonight at the shore it is a bit cooler..some breeze. My oldest son made the pasta and then had to make more because the kids wanted more "How do you stand to be with those little kids all day?" ..he asked. He took them to the beach too. He says they never shut up and ask questions constantly. I told him he should have taken the opportunity to help and educate the kids. He raised his eyebrows.

I promised myself I'd go to bed early but there was sand all over the floors and the laundry room was full of dirty laundry...so I stayed up to clean up and blog and read and eat (unfortunately)..tomorrow morning will be more pleasant. Plus, I am waiting for my kids to get home. errrrrrrrggggghhhh!

Couple of cute things today:

I handed my 10 year old beige swim trunks. he said "mom, you can't expect me to wear those to LIFEGUARD CAMP, NO WAY!"
(all the guards wear red, so he wants to wear red (two of them actually came over to me to tell me what a great kid he is, one even called him "outstanding")

My friend Judy told me her son Alex wants to know if he can ask my niece Matison to the prom (he is going into 8th grade)(she is going into 5th grade)(no proms for a while).....so cute.

I told the kids (now I have two more cousins here)..that whoever wakes up first must me as quiet as a mouse and come down stairs and relax or watch tv until the others get up...no waking everyone up...or you go home..so, one of the cousins said..what if I fall down the steps and everyone gets up...I said...then you go straight home for sure! They all closed their eyes and fell asleep in 5 minutes.

we'll see tomorrow...who is going to be voted off the island! LOl

My son's bathing suit is falling off...he said he lost 6 lbs since he was in school. He has been running and playing and going all day. He eats but not a whole lot/always wanting to get back to playing..he told me "all this health food is making me too skinny"
I got a bit nervous so I bought chips, gatorade and honey nut cheerios today and told my son to get them milkshakes.

I think I am the favorite aunt (and mom) today.

I was food shopping today..the check out lady said to me, "how many kids you got?" I said at least 9 at any given moment these days. "What?", she said...and I said "have a pleasant day"...

ok..all kids are home now.
until next time..........

Sometimes, I feel like the mean witch aunt. I am always preaching about too much junk, way too many sweets and not enough fruit and vegetables. I harp about exercise and challenging ourselves and keeping to modification schedules when it comes to treats.

I get sick of hearing myself.

Yesterday, I said to the kids, trying to set an example, "I try to eat ice cream only one time a week and desert only on Sundays." My son reminded me I already had ice cream three times and it is only Tuesday and my nephew thought they were really weird rules. If you don't try, you'll be eating junk all day, every day. I tell them how bad red dye and white sugar are and how good sweet peaches are and rasberries and blackberries and oatmeal bread. I cover my table with a colorful array of food and when it is all gone, they ask for cookies.

I just have to laugh. I tell them about a day trip we have planned to pick corn and blueberries. They all look at each other. "Yeahhhhh", I say, mockingly. "You'll all have a ball", I say. They are not convinced. "We are all going...all the kids from down here...19 of us". "Oh, O.K.", they say, still not convinced.

Then I remember my grandmothers and how they used to yell at us(one out loud and very loud and the other one more under her breath). Now I understand. I make my niece dry and comb her hair. I make them all make their beds yelling..."I am not the maid around here". And they all must put their wet towels in the laundry and rinse out their water jugs and beach bags. They huff and puff and laugh and do it. Then, I tell them all to brush their teeth..some say they did it and I say they are lying and make them go right up those steps and brush.

All kids lie all the time. Don't believe anything they say and for goodness sake don't even pretend to believe them. When parents take what their kids say (like explanations) seriously I really see stars. Bright stars.

I really do believe it is the best for them...to show them doubt, to demand, to deny, to expect.

I am the first mother to say "No". I am the first to say "enough". I am the one that is always checking their manners and conduct and grades and sleeping behavior. My kids still eat crap, skip homework and (the older ones)drink and party. I am annoyed when they are not working or reading or dressed properly. I do not understand how some other mothers worry so much about if their kids are happy that they hesitate to correct them or they do it politely....they look like big asses, if you ask me, and then when the kids demand more in order to smile or feel content they become bigger asses.

Don't they know these kids (and others) need structure, guidance and boundaries. I find lots of kids do not know their boundries and I think it is because they are not taught. Lots of kids spend very little time with their parents...and this really does affect how life is learned...when you are with your kids all the time, you changed how you see things. Occassional parenting allows for too many guilty indulgences whether that is candy, toys or lack of discipline, it is not good for the kids. Neither is neglect. I also find so many parents neglect their children in one way or another..they give presents and withhold time, etc..This is how I always get back to my old fashioned thinking.

One of those misguided and therefore scared, kids, the most spoiled of all of the shore crowd, is, at 19 years old, in rehab this summer for alcohol and cocaine abuse. $140,000.00 for her to rest! And I watched the parents allow her to be happy all the time and all it got her was anorexia, therapy, and a deep longing for want and need and a deep need for soulfulness....giving her everything gave her emptiness. It always does.

I know the harping doesn't always guarantee perfect children but it helps. Worrying if your kids are happy and always having fun is just dum. There are a lot of dum people out there. Parents are there to guide and correct and harp and act like witches. Aunts are too.

Today, after Lunch at Lucy and shopping and the beach and the playground with the dog (that they put down the slide), after dinner, I was asked if they all can go minature golfing. "No", I said. A couple of disappointed faces made me feel bad. I continued, "lunch cost me 42.00 today" (and that was only for the little guys).."there is only so many things we can do that cost money..today I was maxed out." They seemed to understand and had just as much fun playing outside and then playing cards together.

It is just not in my nature to be nice.

Some people think telling kids that they don't have the money will make them feel bad but this is real life we are talking about not fantasy land..it is the only way they learn.

I am really the nicest!!!!!

I love to see them having fun. I better start taking some pictures so I can prove how much fun they all had with me.

Last week me and Antonio watched "Grease". I sang and danced and he watched John Travolta in a trance.

Sandy and Danny...hmmmm...just a little younger are Alex and Matison.

Everyone loves Alex, not only my niece.

I sometimes wonder if she'll remember her summers at Aunt Debbie's and that nice boy, Alex, she followed around like a puppy dog when she is spending time at the beach with her own children. A match made in heaven. Maybe????....they are 13 and 10!!!!

I am here with all the kids. This house is like a camp. My kids have friends that come in and out, back and forth from the city. The little kids go to Lifeguard Camp and ride bikes and play together on the beach. There is always a different mix of kids at the dinner table. There were three different breakfasts going today. It is nice to see the older kids visiting helping the younger kids (and it gets all my kids involved too).

Today we had lunch at the big Elephant "Lucy". The conversation was all about the people in the world. I wondered how anyone allows me to do "camp" with the kids. I tried not to go on and on. My niece is here all summer on and off. My nephew is here for two weeks and will probably be back again in August. Other cousins will be here next week. The days have been so hot and we've all joined the community center and have been going to the gym every day...all the kids swim, work out, play basketball and ping pong and I do my work outs too. It is a great way to start the day. Life Guard camp is all about learning to swim in the ocean and rescue and they go out on the boats. They are having a blast. Yesterday we drove on bikes to the camp...all 7 of us..with funny helmets in a straight single file line in the bike lane.

This year Alex got a new bike. The old bikes came over to my house with big smiles to accompany them. My son was so excited to have Alex's bike. He gave his cool red bike to his cousin. Matison got a yellow one to match her hair directly from Alex. Yesterday, after Camp we were on the beach until 7:15. I grilled as the kids showered and then devoured a table full of food: chicken marinated in lemons, limes, cilantro and olive oil and rice and homemade guacamole and salsa and cucumber salad and carrot salad with apples, raisins and fresh corn..... Out the door again to ride the bikes around and around. They all stopped at Alex's for a cool break. 15 minutes later they came outside to find all the bikes were gone. Stolen.

We had to go the ice cream palor to cheer everyone up. My nephew fell asleep on the way home with his milkshake in his hand (he had it with his breakfast today).

So, at lunch, we discussed the hows and the whys things happen. I said..."what goes around comes around"..."WHAT?", they said. I explained that when people do bad things in some way God or karma or the stars get back at them...someday they will pay for making others unhappy. My nephew sat and looked at me. He said, "Maybe we should think if we did something to deserve it, do you think we did?" "No..not at all..you did nothing to deserve your new bike to be stolen"!(that was ice cream time)

They miss their bikes and especially because they were Alex's and the whole idea of giving to each other was a really good feeling that got taken away.

Today, after the beach and dinner my niece and nephew were in the driveway. They pulled out all the bikes from the garage and hid behind the bushes with a golf club and a bat. We saw them from the window. My son asked what they were doing..they said "setting a trap". "Don't you think the thieves can see you?", he asked. "No,we are wearing our camouflage"! (and they were)

We all laughed and decided to scour the flea markets for some second hand bikes and hit the hardware store for some good bike locks.

We may have lost our bikes but we've learned a lot. And their friendships are even stronger.

The greatest lesson we can learn from the past. . . is that freedom is at the core of every successful nation in the world."
- Frederick Chiluba